Christmas Joy
by PassionforTwilight
Summary: Bella has never truly enjoyed the Season..until now. Post Breaking Dawn. *Spoilers Possible.* ;
1. Chapter 1

Title: Christmas Joy

Rating: T

Summary: Bella has never truly enjoyed the Christmas Season until now...

Disclaimer: All characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.

**

I am no Scrooge. I know that sounds like a disclaimer, but I feel it's necessary to explain that there's nothing about the holidays, or Christmas, that I object to. In fact, I was raised with a deep-rooted understanding of the real "reason for the season." I appreciate what it is all about. Forget all the gifts and insane retail lines; I cherish being with family around the dinner table, a decorated tree, and even an over-stuffed and undercooked turkey compliments of my mom's lack of culinary skills. That being said, I cannot help but feel somewhat depressed as soon as the first Christmas lights start going up, the carols start taking over the airwaves, and the regular drinks at Starbucks turn into Peppermint, Gingerbread, and Pumpkin-Spiced bonanzas. Not that I drink coffee anyways...but that's beside the point.

I don't even understand, myself, why I've always felt such a sense of sadness when Christmas cheer takes over the world. Sometimes, I wonder if maybe everyone experiences the same queasiness that has always seemed like an intrinsic part of the season for me. If they do, they don't let on to it. All I ever heard at school was immense excitement about lights, shopping, decorating, baking, and so on. It's probably just another fault of mine, feeling sadness when I should feel exhilarated. A lot of people say the holidays can be depressing, especially if you've lost a loved one, are lonely, or have recently ended a relationship. That's logical. It makes sense. However, none of those applied to me. Maybe it's because I hardly had the typical mom, dad, and daughter home-time memories to help give foundation to what some of the traditions are all about. In general, I'm not a grumpy person. I'm usually very steady, not often do I have huge mood swings unless given a real reason to. So, I was never able to really grasp the reason for my lack of joy. It just always felt like something was missing. And then...

I was sitting on the oversized couch in our small home with a smile plastered on my face. There was no way to deny the magic of the scene unfolding before me, and it wasn't until that very moment that I began to understand the missing link.

"Hold me tight, promise?" Her small, but musical voice asked from where she sat perched on her Uncle's shoulders.

"Would I ever let you get hurt?" He replied with a chuckle, and she reached her little hand up and out with the glittery star before gracefully setting it atop the tree that was dripping with ornaments and lights.

She clapped happily as she leaned back to admire it.

"Good Job! That looks beautiful, Renesmee." I said, struck for a moment at the intense pride shining in her eyes. The fact that a million, sparkly lights were reflecting in them only added to the brilliance of her stare.

"Thanks!"

She was quiet for a moment as she took in her handy-work. They had been decorating for at least a couple of hours, and I could tell she was beginning to get tired, but it would be a sunny day in Forks before she'd admit to it with all of her favorite people in our small family room.

"She's getting sleepy," his voice was just a whisper in my ear as he leaned over the back of the couch and dropped the sweetest kiss on my neck.

I turned my head just slightly, pulling my legs up onto the couch and tucking my knees against my chest.

"I can tell. A couple more minutes, and we'll put her to bed," I replied, as his hands came to rest on my shoulders. I let out an unnecessary, but calming sigh. I'd been separated from him all day, and it was always nice to feel his touch and have him close after any length of time apart.

"Uncle Emmett did the popcorn strings," Renesmee squealed from the kitchen were they had retreated to get Carlisle and Esme's approval. Esme and Alice had set up a "gift-wrapping station" of sorts and were hard at work decorating box after box of gifts that were a result of our daylong shopping trip to the mall. Despite their incredible speed and agility, they both insisted on perfect packages so it had turned into quite an ordeal. It took Alice half an hour to pick the right wrapping paper rolls for crying out loud. I thought Renesmee was going to have her first real childhood fit in the middle of the Hallmark Store.

"He may have strung a few popcorn pieces sweetheart, but the majority of it was just thrown around the room," Jasper mumbled from the other end of the couch where he sat watching the night unfold.

"That was the best part!" She replied as she ran from Emmett's embrace and came to me with her arms up just as she does whenever she wants Edward or me to pick her up and hold her close. She may be an extraordinary child, special in countless ways, but she's still our baby. I immediately pulled her to me, tucking her into my lap with her head resting on my shoulder and her chest against mine. Her little legs were curled underneath her, resting on my lap, and for a moment I was breathless at the feel of her heart beating against my still chest. She's breathtakingly perfect. Her warm arms encircled my neck, and I could tell she closed her eyes for just a second before snapping them open.

Something else had her attention now.

"Uncle Jasper, come here."

He immediately scooted closer to us with a warm smile on his face, obviously sensing her genuine excitement.

"Promise not to tell Auntie Alice?" She began.

Uh oh, I thought.

"Oh, no you don't, Renesmee. You're not going to show Uncle Japser his presents, are you? They are a surprise for Christmas day," I spoke quickly, arching my eyebrows at her and trying to look serious.

Edward and the entire family was adamant that we show Renesmee a true, baby's first Christmas. Christmas morning was sure to be a spectacle at this rate.

I knew she had paid very careful attention to each purchase her Aunt Alice, Rose, and Grandma Esme made as we traipsed back and forth through the mall today. Surely, she wasn't planning to spoil the surprises for him.

She stared back at me with such confusion in her chocolate, brown eyes that I couldn't help but smile.

I knew Alice was listening intently from the kitchen because all of the girls were suddenly very quiet.

Carlisle and Edward were now quietly chatting about new tires for his car, and Rosalie was deep into the latest issue of her favorite magazine as she sat beside the fireplace. I caught her glance up and give me a loving smile before she flipped the page and returned to her reading.

Renesmee was staring at me quietly, and she leaned closer to me before her hand grasped my neck lightly as she leaned to speak directly into my ear just as her father had only minutes earlier.

"No, I wasn't mommy. Promise. I was just going to show him how happy Auntie Alice looked when she picked it out for him. Would that be okay?" She asked, not wanting Jasper to hear her, but I knew he had when he sucked in a quick breath in tandem with everyone else in the house.

She is amazing.

I was speechless for a moment. How can someone so tiny, and new to the world, so fully grasp such a selfless emotion? For her to even understand that it's the thought behind any gift that matters most is astounding to me. We do our best to teach her right from wrong, instill values, and morals, but when she spoke, it was not from any lesson we have attempted. It was a desire straight from her heart to make someone else happy, and it was awe-inspiring.

"Oh, baby. Of course that's okay. I bet he would like that very much." I finally answered as I ran my hand over her soft curls and kissed her forehead as she smiled in delight.

Quickly, she moved to kneel next to him. She reacher out her hand and as soon as her palm made contact with his cheek, his smile beamed. I couldn't be sure that she wouldn't slip and reveal something Alice would rather her not, but the look of adoration and peace on Edward's face as he undoubtedly surveyed whatever she was showing Jasper calmed any nervousness I had.

She continued to hold her hand to Jasper's cheek, and I briefly wondered what could take so long. Then, I saw Edward's small gasp, and I was caught between staring at the awe on his face and the look of contentment on Renesmee's. Obviously, she was smart enough to know that whatever she showed to anyone in the room, her father was able to see as well.

As I watched them, I felt a very unfamiliar emotion begin to take root in the pit of my stomach and slowly spread. It felt like real happiness in the season.

"Hey, hey! No fair, what are you showing Uncle Jasper _and_ daddy?" I asked as she giggled slightly while both Jasper and Edward glowed.

"Oh, nothing. Just the gingerbread house Aunt Rosalie helped me with yesterday," she rattled off with a smirk.

"Unhuh..." I said, doubt dripping from my voice.

Edward moved toward us slowly with his arms outstretched.

"Okay, little one. I think it's bedtime for you. We're getting up early to hunt, and you are very tired," he crooned as he picked her up gently from Jasper's side.

"Kisses for everybody, first," she hugged him tightly, and I felt my heart contract when his eyes closed at the intensity of her embrace.

"Of course." Edward answered.

"Yay! Grandma and Grandpa first."

"Go ahead," he said as he placed her little feet on the hardwood floor, and she took off in search of Esme and Carlisle.

I heard her saying goodnight and squealing with glee as everyone attacked her with kisses and hugs.

"Night, princess!" Emmett bellowed from the recliner where he was now engrossed in Monday Night Football.

I got up and made my way to her bedroom, picking out some warm pj's just as Edward carried her in. He gave me an intense stare.

Together, we changed her into her pajamas and once she was cozy in her bed, Edward leaned over and whispered to her.

"You amaze me more every day, love. Your heart is as big as your mommy's, you know that? I love you so much."

She watched him carefully as her eyes grew heavy.

"I love you too, daddy. I love you, mommy."

"I love you more," I said, starting our typical goodnight ritual.

"Nope."

"Yep."

"Nooooo."

"Yeeessss," I said as I took Edward's hand, and we made our way to the hall.

"Sweet dreams, kiddo," Edward said as he pulled her bedroom door shut behind us.

Quietly, I leaned up, weaving my fingers through his hair before resting them at his neck.

"Kiss me," he breathed.

I didn't move any closer.

"Bella," he begged, trying to lean toward me, but I held him steady.

"What did she show you guys exactly?"

He smiled.

"It's a secret."

"Edward..."

"No, sorry. Can't do it."

"Please?"

"Alice took her shopping separately while you, Rosalie, and my mother went to the bookstore, right?" He asked.

"Yes."

"She was just showing me some things that happened then."

"Like?"

"Bella, come on, obviously I can't tell you."

Realization slowly dawned.

"You mean, Alice helped her shop for me?"

"Possibly."

I laughed lightly at the smirk on his face.

"You know how I hate surprises. I told the girls not to spend any money on gifts for me. There's nothing I need or want that I don't have right here."

"They know that." He said calmly before continuing... "But, that's just it, Bella. She never _once_ even thought of a specific gift. She didn't think of prices, or stores, or items. She couldn't care less about the material things. The only thing in her head was the look of happiness on everyone's faces as they secured their purchases. She was captivated by the look of joy in their and your eyes. She showed me your smile countless times. I saw you buy her the hot chocolate; she showed me how you took the lid off and dipped the candy-cane in the whipped cream for her to lick off. She showed me how your hand tightened over hers whenever the crowds jostled you guys around and how you held her closer anytime you approached an escalator. She showed me a happy, old couple, wrapped arm in arm as they piled up gifts for their grandchildren, and the next thing that flashed through her head was an image of us, embracing the same way."

I was in awe as I listened to him. It's not about the damn lights, or carols, or decorations. It's about truly appreciating the love and magic that we share with those in our lives. I've always had love in my life, but this...this is what it means to really understand the passion I never thought I was capable of feeling.

"Isn't is just amazing?" I asked after a moment.

"Hmm?"

"What we did."

"What you did," he said.

"No, Edward. She is just as much you as she is me. She has your heart and your soul," I stated.

He studied me carefully for a few seconds.

"Oh, God, Bella. Don't you see? She has _your _heart and soul. She's just like you. She loves those around her so fiercely and so intensely that she can't see anything else."

In that moment, I dropped my shield, unable to put anymore of my thoughts into words for him. He just needed to hear me. I'd always kept my guilt and uncertainty about the way I feel around this time a secret, but I want to share everything with him. I watched as he shivered, still not accustomed to hearing me. He was quiet until a groan ripped from his chest, and he wrapped his arms tightly around me.

"Bella! You're happy with Christmas and everything going on now because you finally have people to give all of that love to. Before, you felt left out because you understood the season, but you're a woman with so much love, that you felt an intense sadness because you couldn't bless people with it."

The certainty in his eyes calmed me. I knew not to argue with him.

He was right. Of course he was. It would take me a while to digest his words; understand what he meant, but somehow I just knew his explanation was right. This family made me whole, but Edward, myself, and our daughter also made them whole. We all complete each-other, and I've never been completely at ease during this season because I've never given the gift of love fully. After all, that's the gift that counts.

My thoughts were suspended when his lips captured mine, and his hands were suddenly urgent as they gripped at me, pulling me so close to him that every part of our bodies possible were pressed together.

I lost myself in his kisses, completely captivated by his sighs and tightening embrace.

I'm sure we would have continued that way until our passion forced us to our bedroom, but we were interrupted by an intense, yet gentle voice from the family room.

"Guys, enough. I'm feeling like a lifetime movie times ten over here," Jasper mumbled as he tried to focus on the game with Emmett.

I chuckled into Edward's chest before leaning back to look into his eyes. He gave me huge smile. "Sorry, Jasper." We said in unison.

With that, we turned to rejoin our family, and I smiled as his hand found its home on the small of my back. I have enough love for everyone here. That's for sure.

**

Happy Holidays!


	2. TO BELLA, FROM SANTA

Title: Christmas Joy

Chapter 2

**

Christmas morning came quickly amidst the hustle and bustle of preparations and decorations. To me, it seems like just yesterday that we were walking Renesmee around the neighborhood in her Tinkerbell costume, collecting absurd amounts of candy from warmhearted neighbors that were immediately in love with her. And now, as Edward and I sit wrapped up in each-other enjoying both the breaking of dawn, and a raging fire he started about a half hour ago, I can't help but smile in anxious excitement.

"What is it?" He asked softly, his breath tickling my ear and falling down my neck in a cool wave.

I reached for his hands and took them in mine, lacing our fingers together.

"I can't wait for her to wake up."

"Me neither." He replied, as he pressed a kiss to my cheek.

We were quiet for a while, too cozy and content to move an inch.

His fingers ran through my hair soothingly, reminding me of the countless nights we spent together at Charlie's.

"What are you thinking about?" His voice was so gentle; I shivered at the love and reverence it exuded.

"Mostly about what it was like when I woke up on Christmas morning in Forks, when my mom and dad were still together," I began.

Edward became very quiet, as quiet as an already silent vampire can become. He stilled his breath, and I noticed his embrace strengthen.

"Go on," he urged me ever so gently, eager I'm sure, to hear about my childhood since I so rarely open up about it.

It's different with Edward now. I have always loved talking with him about anything and everything, but we could so much deeper now. Ever since the birth of our daughter, and my change, we share things that we never broached before. We have always been completely intertwined, and conversation has always flowed effortlessly between us, but there's an undeniable intensity about our interaction now. We never sleep, and when our time together while Renesmee is fast asleep, isn't spent physically expressing our love; it's spent sharing equally as intimate experiences...just talking. It's almost as if with each intimately, personal detail I share with him about my human self, we strengthen the immortal bond he has blessed me with.

"Please," he whispered with a smile, and I pulled myself from my musings, eager to assure him that I fully intend to explain.

"I never had trouble sleeping on Christmas Eve. I was always very excited, but I was the kind of kid to rationalize about it. If I went to sleep as soon as possible, it would get here even sooner."

I felt him chuckle lightly.

"I would wake up a couple of times during the night, but I never wanted to peek, to see what was under the tree."

"Why not?"

I waited for a minute, turning my head to look out the large window that makes up the front of our cottage. The snow was falling steadily now, and I marveled at the beauty of each individual snowflake as it fell.

"Because my favorite part was running down the stairs with my mom and dad hot on my heels. They always acted like they'd never seen any of it before, as if they hadn't set it all up, arranging presents and biting on the cookies I insisted on baking for Santa."

"MmHmm."

"I only had to leave my bedroom door and they were there. Dressed in robes and slippers, ready to follow me to the family room even if they looked exhausted."

I watched as two deer walked slowly away from the house just across the pond. The falling snow obviously masking any danger they should have sensed coming from us.

"My mom always wrote my name in weird, all caps letters so that I couldn't recognize her handwriting on the gift labels. TO BELLA, FROM SANTA...She would even hide a roll of wrapping paper from me all month, claiming she didn't recognize my gifts because she definitely had never seen the paper before."

"Bella," he whispered, and I shifted to look at him. His eyes were so full of warmth and understanding.

"Charlie always looked ecstatic, you know, and I loved being happy with them. I loved experiencing it together."

"Of course you did. You're beautiful," he said, with such strength behind his words.

I laughed lightly.

"I'm not the saint you think I am. One year, just before they split, they got me a Power Wheels jeep I had been begging for. Some neighborhood boys had one, and they never let me drive it, claiming I was too little and would crash it into a mailbox. Well, I just knew, Edward. I hit the landing of the stairs that morning, saw the huge box, wrapped with several rows of paper because no roll was large enough for it, and I knew. I could practically feel the rumble under my butt as I drove the thing straight over to Matt Schuler's house and put his ratty, old jeep to shame."

Edward laughed out loud at this, and I leaned down to kiss the top of his hand as it rested in my lap.

"Charlie helped me rip the paper off, and I was so thrilled to get it out and get going that I ran upstairs to get dressed without giving it a second glance. It was red; I knew that much. I barely had my shoes and socks on as I raced down the stairs. When I got down there, Charlie had this devastated look on his face. You would have thought someone died."

Edward tilted his head, a knowing smirk slowly gracing his gorgeous lips.

"Oh, no," he whispered, his eyes crinkling with sympathy and amusement.

"Yep. That damn battery had to, 'charge for twenty-four hours prior to use for optimal performance'."

"Ouch."

"Yeah, Charlie kneeled down and gave me a big hug. He said, 'Sorry, kiddo. I blew it,' and I tried so hard not to cry for him. I could see the guilt in his eyes, but I was just so upset. A few tears betrayed me, and I'll never forget the way he brushed them away with his mittens before he leaned forward and kissed my forehead. There were tears in his eyes too. That was the only time I ever saw my dad cry. I think he knew. Obviously, it had been over for a long time between my parents...if it ever really started, but I think he knew it was the last time there would be a Christmas morning together, and he thought he ruined it by not charging a stupid battery ahead of time."

"I was a brat all day, Edward. I really tried not to mope, but I could hear everyone outside playing. Some kids had new roller-blades, some new bikes, but my stupid jeep was dead as a doornail in the garage. Renee said it would work after a couple of hours despite my dad's warning, so I gave it a shot. I got about eight yards from her feet before it stalled in the driveway."

Edward bit back a laugh at this, and I turned to pat him lightly on the chest.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. I can just picture it, though. That little pout that you do when you're frustrated all over your face. I bet you looked adorable sitting there in a huff."

"Oh yeah, charming, I'm sure."

He took my breath away with his smile after that, and I couldn't hep the shudder that ran through me when his hands cupped my face and pulled me forward for a searing kiss. His lips were tender but purposeful as his fingers trailed down my cheek and stopped on my shoulders.

"Promise me we'll continue this conversation later," he said between kisses to my lips, nose, and cheeks.

"I promise," I answered, willing to give him anything he could ever ask of me, even though I didn't understand why we were stopping for now.

"Merry Christmas, Bella. I love you," he whispered against my lips, and I was even more confused for a second, until I heard the almost imperceptible crunch of dancing footsteps in the snow outside our home, followed by five others.

Oh. Here we go.

With that, the front door opened, emitting a blast of chilly air, as the members of our family filed in with beaming smiles on their faces. Everyone was carrying a huge Santa bag full of bulges and brimming with presents. I had to giggle at the extremes Alice has gone to in order to make this a very memorable day. We'd be lucky to have the festivities over by nightfall at the look of things.

"Finally! Morning, you two. Merry Christmas! She'll be awake in two minutes and forty-five seconds!" Alice announced, her eyes twinkling with amusement.

Edward laughed behind me before standing up and pulling me to my feet.

"Merry Christmas, guys," I said happily as I walked over to them, hugging and kissing the people that now make up my life.

We quickly unpacked everyone's boxes and set everything down under the tree; Alice expertly arranging gifts to create a picturesque display. Just as everyone relaxed somewhere in the room, taking a moment to appreciate the scene, the sound of her increasing hum of a heartbeat and a quiet yawn reached our sensitive ears.

"She's awake," Edward whispered from where he stood just behind me.

We all held our breath as tiny hands rubbed eyes, eyelashes fluttered, sheets rustled, and then little feet hit the floor and were padding down the hall towards us as fast as her little legs could carry her.

"Mommy! Daddy!" She called as she ran.

"Out here, baby," Edward called to her, unable to ignore her even though she'd figure it out for herself in a millisecond.

She whirled around the corner in a flash of curls and snowmen pajamas before skidding to a stop as her wide eyes took in the room, and everyone standing in it, with love and cheer all over their faces.

"Oh my," she breathed so quietly, the awe and joy on her face the most amazing thing that I have ever seen. Her lips parted to form a perfect "o", and her eyes cheeks blushed with warmth and love.

I swear I felt my heart beating, and I gasped softly when Edward reached an arm around my waist and pulled me back against his chest, splaying his strong hand out over my hip.

So this is what it felt like for my parents? No wonder they always seemed to be awake before me on Christmas morning. I wouldn't be able to wait for this either.

**

Thank you so much for your reviews! I had no plans to take this any further than the first chapter, but I can't help but want more holiday cheer for the Cullens. Let me know what you think!


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